Its been a long road, and I am back. 
Newgrounds was instrumental in the honing of some certain skills, and after being away for an extended period of time, I am slam bang, back in the Newgrounds forums, looking for a single thing. 

THE OMNIPRESENT NARRATOR

Im going to make this short, sweet and with little introduction. 
My name is Jasper and I am an aspiring writer and director. My brother, the lead animator, and I have a project in sight, and the enthusiasm and eagerness to begin is rearing its ugly head.

The single problem and the reason why I am delving around in the Newgrounds Collab forum is this; I need a voice.
We are in the midst of conceptualising the animation in its entirety, but until that process can really conclude, we need a good idea of how its going to sound, and thats why I am here, asking for any keen aspiring voice actors to take a shot at a version of an omnipresent narrator.
Unfortunately this job comes with no pay slip, but I am not bothered about experience. If you are interested, I will send you the script and in turn perhaps you can send me back an mp3. file.

The name of the cartoon is “THE AGORAPHOBIC” and its about a completely paranoid man who hasn't left his apartment in 14 years, when one day the apartment catches on fire, he has to make a decision whether to leave or not. 
The essence of what I am really looking for lies throughout various media I have indulged in over the years. While I am not certain which voice would sound best, I have for you three examples of the routes you could take.

The first example of possible outcomes for this voice is:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ec51smvcsDY P.T.A's MAGNOLIA
One of the introduction sequences from P.T. Anderson’s Magnolia. A lot of the inspiration for the omnipresent narrator came from this film. 
This is the first example of a voice you could attempt. 

The second example is

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fBtX0S2J32Y THE STANLEY PARABLE
The narrator in the Stanley Parable is a voice that has been done a thousand times, but its one that still sends shivers down my spine.

And the third example:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MMGQDJX4LJs
Wheatly: the narrator in the Portal video game. What i love about Stephen Merchant’s Wheatly is the conversational pacing of his monologues. This is the final example.

The core of this film revolves around this unknown narrator, he is the central piece to the puzzle and for anyone willing to have a go, voice the words and PM me with your best shot:

The very nature of these events-
Which were all true mind you -
took place inside the apartment
complex on 72 Small Street.
The inhabitant of Apartment 32A was
a rather fragile man - he was birthed
with the name John Drivel,
but the newspapers would sadly
come to call him the AGORAPHOBIC.

Welcome! I changed my name recently, thanks to the kind deeds of Mr. Fulp, so thank you Tom.

I hate to admit it, but ive been out of the Newgrounds game a while. A while ago, I just logged off and didn't come and visit you guys as much as i once did. I know it sucks, I was great company, but unfortunately that's what happens.

I'd like to call myself an aspiring film maker, and when i signed up for this account, I was primarily interested in animation, but I slowly made a transition to real life films. Come to think of it, the time I quit Newgrounds, was the time I got a new camera. I'm back now though, and holy hell I'm inspired.

I'm definitely not an animator, and my voice acting needs work. Besides that though I'm getting things done!
I worked as assistant camera man on a project, called"Watch My Space" which you can see soon, edited the abstract local Darwin project "My Place, Our Space", and am currently writing, directing, and assisting to animate the commercial for Darwin Middle School. I'm doing cool shit essentially, but i want to do more. I want to occupy my time with projects, upon projects, cause that's what I love.

At this point in my life, I primarily write scripts, and direct, and I know that's not great for animation, especially the kind you find on this amazing site, but i do need practice. Besides all the projects I listed, i haven't done one that I created from the ground up. I've got so many ideas locked up in my head, and if any of you beautiful people are down for attempting to create something with me, like a partnership, whether it be drama, action, or comedy, please add me on Skype or email me right away. (PM for Skype/jasperalanmartin@gmail.com)

I'm down, and I'm not succumbing to procrastination. (isn't that right Joey) I'm here to work hard. PM me, I've got the fucking goods.

So, the mystery box i ordered, is finally here!
It seems as if theres a theme of comics, in this one..

-
- a Fossil Watch
- A SCREAM bag
- 2x Snow Snow for Lucy Dvds.
- a note from stamper saying "This note was written with this marker"
- a marker
- a pink marker
- 3x HEINZ ketchup satchels
- a Marvel 2011
- a TMNT toy
- an Oolong Tea bag
- American Vampire Comic
- SUMM stickaz.\
- a rock
- some postcards
- and some badges

so yeah. quite a nice collection. Quite nice. thanks tom

So I just bought a Mystery Box, from the NG store. I belieeeeve it was the second last one, the one I bought. Why not get one? I saw the General Forums a few months ago, I know whats hip with the teens these days.
So yeah. Ill update this Post when it arrives, in 2-3 weeks.
I hope theres something in this box thats worthwhile. Because the postage on this thing is ffffffffooooooooking huge! (I understand posting random heavy shit to Australia's, gonna cost a shit-ton) So yeas. A used Condom, and a Snow Snow for Lucy DVD wont cut it for me. Unless it was used by Tom.
(Everything is okay if it has something to do with Tom)

TALK TO YOU IN A WEEK OR 3, xx

Feel like coming back and doing a collab or something. We'll see where this goes. if theres anything you want me to do, PM me. ALSO haaaappy bbirtdhaaydafg to me gjsGJdsnd

-jasperrrr
how are you munchkins? xx

Lets do it, Me, you and Jomillex, It'll be great fun, and the good thing is, we need many people, no matter what you specialize in! We could make it by ourselves, but how silly and boring does that sound :$ Comment below and PM if your good at anything you lousy fucks, and perhaps... Perhaps, we could make something incredible.

THE NAME OF THIS WEB-SERIES? WELL. Thats a secret.
Its pretty much a sketch series, that will pop up every month. 2 minute cartoons to wrap your mind around that.

We need anyone we can get:

-Voice Actors
-Animators
-Background Artists
-Writers
-other shizzzz.

Lets doit son.
It'l Be fuun! i promise.

THIS SERIES PILOT, has been written, and the character design has been drawn. Get in contact if you want to take a read.
Here it is :$ : http://www.newgrounds.com/dump/item/62 ffd45e9081c68d94c8541a6bfc086b

Ill be here and there, but ... None the less ill be here making stuff, and watching stuff, and playing stuff.

I really want to make a cartoon, that is uploaded here on Newgrounds, and on my YouTube channel.
Ive got the rough audio file, by rough, i mean i recorded it with my laptop microphone, and its shitty quality.
PM me if your interested. Ill send over you the rough audio.

Its pretty much like this:

Or this:

My latest YouTube video is here:
just if your wondering :$ i really like this one:

IM BACK BITCHES!

Its been an amazingly long time till i updated this, .. but im here to say, im not here to stay. Im kinda moving on out to making a sketch series on YouTube.. Its a secret project, that'll be up soon.. In the last 2 weeks, i spent my time making these:

and:

So, yeah, subscribe to me there if you like; i dont mind actually. I know im not that great at scketches yet.. but im getting better,
So yeah. Happy Valentines Day.

It isnt even my birthday.

You know, today, im in a kinda random mood,. Hense the shitty post;

Good morning/afternoon/evening, judging on how much your time zone is fucked up, Newgrounds.
Having a nice day? Cool. I dont care.

Woah, a guy just totally died somewhere,
Just making you alert.

Woah, im incredibly fucking boring.

Goodnight!

No, Jasper, you are going to be serious now.

HI NEWGROUNDS! <3
Hows your daaay been?!?!
Thats great! Now listen to song about taking a lot of drugs.

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People say its like the new "Rick-Roll'd", i think its an acid trip.

Man i sound like an un-funny douche-bag.

Speaking of douchebags.

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Oh how I love KassemG, amazingly funny guy.
Hes comedy right there.

Original video:

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So yeah,

- KassemG,
- Pretty Pink Birthday Cakes
- Douchebags
- Acid trips
- and finally; Shitty posts.

Pic totally related.
Small Picture = Small file size.

How was your Christmas?
I got this awesome card from MamaTequlia! Picy beloww.

I also hit 1000 forum posts, only telling you this, cause im a Stat Whore.

My Christmas was pretty cool, sung a musical note at the local supermarket.

Using these lights i made a video.
Still working on making these things funnier, but, i can probably safely say, im getting better. :)

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Also nothing serves Christmas like an awesome Christmas movie.

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Deck'd 2, my the great Dom Fera. Or as hes known here D-fear331

Yeah, hes the Shoop Da Woop guy.

So yeah. Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays.
Like iv'e said in the past 3 blog posts.

WHATCHU GUYS GET?